Thursday, November 26, 2009
Will you write my eulogy?
i need direction, a signal, or even an omen maybe. because i will not allow myself to be controlled by helplessness. yet it's coming to me so strong i try to fight it but i just end up feeling more helpless than before. i need to feel faith coming from you. but it hurts each time i sense the apprehension in your voice, your body language. i have failed before, too, but you have eroded whatever cynicism left in me and i chose to believe, to trust. you have no idea how precious my trust is. nothing else ever came close enough to that, ever since i was trampled on and made worthless, not even secondary to the most invaluable item on earth. still, i let you in. and now you're forcing me to retreat, in pain.
It's a beautiful disguise.